STATEMENT OF POLICY
All this damaging talk of right-wing conspiracies leads me to make this unsolicited announcement on behalf of the National Party of New Zealand.
Listen very carefully, I will say this only once (to stay within the bounds of the electoral finance law). I do not want to have to come back and say, regretfully, that I should have chosen my words more carefully. Read my lips (as Dr Lockwood Smith said before an earlier election, when he pronounced the words 'No fees' to the tertiary students, rightfully adding under his breath 'without student loans'). The incoming (lovely word, 'income') National Party government will not sell off public assets. Not in the first term (time will tell whether this will be the first school term of 2009 or the longer university semester).
Most importantly, National (despite our name we are against 'nationalisation') will never, not in the short term nor in the long term, sell the brave little Kiwi Bank. On the contrary, we will buy it. Our leader will purchase it with his own personal tax cut, and it will become the Key Wee Bank (it's yours, John, it is not copyrighted). The profits will be used (no connection with the word 'usury') to fund tax cuts for all the hard-working deserving citizens of our Nation.